Get all 15 silentbeing releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of xenon, æon, παρά, metastasia, alone, psychroaesthesia, a:void, in somnium, and 7 more.
1. |
endless
13:37
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water
want to hold you
but i’m too naked
this is too close
in water
want to touch you
but in the nude
this is too embarrassing
ambient
and i want to kiss you
but i’m too bare
this is too revealing
ambient water
i want to caress you
but i’m too open
this is too salt
ambient your heart
“there’s no-one here”
“don’t be afraid”
“this is just intimate”
ambient in your heart
“we’re all alone here”
“don’t be frightened”
“this is just closeness”
“this is just clotheslessness”
i’m ambient in your heart
and you caress me
and i am open
this is just intimacy
now i'm ambient in your heart
and you seduce me
and i am naked
this is just nudity
this is just purity
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2. |
page 11
13:14
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i hide my face
in clutching hands
stoddering through my insides
wavering in something i can’t understand
somehow there must be
a reasonable explanation
only i haven’t been told
why a perfect girl
married to horrible pictures
is gnawing away my control
i’m unable to maintain my reason
as i feel
i clutch my hands
in a hidden face
as distance became
both enemy and friend
my desire of knowledge
became a battling rage within
and as the development
into a longing to care
into a phobia of caring
my turn is final
as i seal
my easily accessible wide open face
gives my hands away to her
‘cause my enjoyable solitude
i would rather spend with her
trying to figure out
her complicated way
of being uncomplicated
but as she speaks to me
i tried to think
i know how it began
and how it ends
but that alone doesn’t make any sense
i’m raving through my insides
passing things i nolonger care to understand
and only babbling thoughts makes sense
‘cause i frightenly realise
the sky turning to change
into blue happiness
i’m struggling not to become any weaker
as i leal
i have broken my face and left my hands alone
like i always do
by reading page one
and then the last chapter too soon
it always ends in pointlessness
i regret
i burned the pages in between again
as i kneel again
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3. |
lady in grey
13:17
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this clouded night
a perfect
of a garden-grey
re-enters from beyond
the land of fragility
for she wants to gaze
into starz
born out of integrity
to ordinary eyes
no starz were out that night
but behold
for she is no ordinary lady
and two
only two starz were out
dimly visible through heavy drifting fogs
but yet recognized as starz
and starz to become
by the x-rayed vision
of the garden grey from beyond
for she is a lady of the night
and she sees through the night
and she painted a picture
of starz to become
and hid it in her castle
behind her sun
the clouded picture
of a perfect night
is covered up in web and age
but more than ever it matches
the garden-grey
and the starz
in whom the lady once gazed
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4. |
my plastic rose
13:32
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the words
all came out naked
dressed in transparent plastic coats
covering nothing
showing unnaturality
as the truth
everybody expected
to be a lie
i swear
it seemed natural
though it turned out
to be made of plastic
it has got no air or space
and no light
but it will never wither
and never be real
so get dressed again
cause i will never
truely feel again
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5. |
among caged birds
12:58
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i have untied myself
from an old dream
of something less
than what so perfectly seemed
to be a sea of faith
but my belief was self made-up
i have deceived myself
because i was hunting the belief
i saw with everybody else
i only found make-believe
so the dream
of heroically
being determined
eternally
is deceased
when i shatter from believing
when it shivers me to believe
this is it
and as she stared at me
i saw her changing her shape
into a column of silent faces
her vacant eyes didn't want to look my way
but in the reflection of her eyes
i saw an insubstantial figure
dancing among birds in cages
silently remembering
i reached out to save him
but he slipped through my fingers
out of the all-embracing grave
and then was saved
i have untied
my hands from something less
than what so perfectly
seemed to be true
seemed worth waiting for
seemed worth fighting for
seemed to be red
but i shiver from the thought
of having faith
because it will suffocate me
unless i try to avoid
what seems to be
irresistable but
unrealistic joy
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6. |
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i searched for months
among the abstracts
but i forgot to turn on the light
i tried to step away from the tree
to find the forest
but i forgot to open my eyes
i was thirsty
so i looked among the logics
to find water
but i only found a lake
concentrated for years
i tried to find the answer
but i forgot
what answer i wanted to appear
it seemed that
what i hunted
was there all the time
but i made believe
she once pulled my eyes out
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